Funeral Taboos in Different Cultures: What Not to Do When Someone Dies

Death is a universal human experience, but the way we mourn—and the rules around what we shouldn’t do—vary dramatically by culture. In many societies, there are strict funeral taboos designed to protect the living, honor the dead, and maintain spiritual balance.

From the color of clothing to forbidden gestures, these funeral taboos in different cultures show how death rituals are not just about grief—they’re about respect, belief, and tradition.

Let’s explore what not to do when attending a funeral around the world.

1. Funeral Taboos in China: Don’t Say the Wrong Thing

In Chinese culture, funerals are deeply symbolic and heavily influenced by Taoist and Confucian beliefs. Key taboos include:

Never say “congratulations” at a funeral, even by mistake. Instead, offer quiet, respectful phrases like “节哀顺变 (jié’āi shùnbiàn)”—”may you restrain your grief.”
Avoid wearing red, as it’s associated with happiness and weddings.
Do not attend weddings or birthdays soon after attending a funeral, as it’s believed to bring bad luck to others.

Also, funeral money (“白包” – white envelope) is given to the family, but only in odd-numbered amounts, as even numbers are considered unlucky in this context.

2. Funeral Taboos in Japan: Chopsticks, Numbers, and Silence

In Japan, funerals are quiet, structured, and deeply rooted in Buddhist rituals. Common taboos include:

Never stick chopsticks upright in rice—this mirrors a ritual offering to the dead and is seen as ominous in daily life.
Avoid giving gifts or money in amounts involving the number 4 (“shi”) or 9 (“ku”), which sound like “death” and “suffering.”
Do not talk loudly or express strong emotions at the funeral, as restraint and solemnity are seen as marks of respect.

After attending a funeral, it’s customary to wash your hands and mouth with salt or water before entering another home, to avoid bringing death energy.

3. Funeral Taboos in Korea: No Photos, No Red Ink

In Korean funerals, heavily influenced by Confucianism and ancestral worship, specific taboos help protect spiritual harmony:

Do not wear makeup or colorful accessories; black or dark clothing is expected.
Taking pictures of the deceased or of the funeral ceremony is generally discouraged—it’s seen as disrespectful and invasive.
Never write the deceased’s name in red ink, as red symbolizes death and spiritual separation.

Additionally, cutting hair or nails during the mourning period is discouraged, based on the belief that the body should be preserved in full during times of grief.

4. Funeral Taboos in Western Cultures: Tone and Timing Matter

In many Western countries, especially in Christian traditions, funeral customs are more flexible—but some taboos remain:

Wearing white or bright colors (unless requested by the family) is considered inappropriate; black is still the standard for mourning.
Avoid telling jokes or making light conversation, especially near the casket or during eulogies.
Being late to a funeral is a sign of deep disrespect.

While Western funerals may vary by denomination, showing emotional control, punctuality, and quiet presence is generally valued.

5. Funeral Taboos in Islamic Cultures: Purity and Simplicity

In Islamic funeral traditions, which focus on purity, humility, and swift burial, taboos are tied to religious law and spiritual respect:

No embalming or decorative coffins—simplicity is sacred.
Women may not attend the burial in some regions, though this varies by country and interpretation.
Mourning should not be excessively loud or theatrical, as it may disturb the soul’s journey.
Cremation is strictly forbidden in Islam.

Attendees should dress modestly, pray respectfully, and never take photos at a Muslim funeral.

6. Funeral Taboos in African Cultures: Spirits Must Be Respected

In many parts of sub-Saharan Africa, funerals are communal and spiritual. Taboos include:

Not speaking the name of the deceased for a period after death, to allow the spirit to transition peacefully.
Avoiding whistling or singing casually during funerals—music must be ceremonial.
Wearing jewelry or bright colors is often prohibited, especially for immediate family.
In some regions, pregnant women and children are discouraged from attending funerals, due to spiritual vulnerability.

Many African communities also believe that failure to follow mourning rituals correctly may anger the ancestors or disturb the village’s balance.

Conclusion: Death Is Sacred—and So Are Its Rules

The funeral taboos in different cultures reflect more than superstition. They reveal how we understand death, protect the living, and honor the departed.

From avoiding red in China to not photographing ceremonies in Korea, these taboos teach us that grief has rules—and those rules carry spiritual, emotional, and cultural weight.

Whether you’re traveling or attending a cross-cultural funeral, remember: sometimes, what you don’t do is the greatest sign of respect.